Separation Anxiety

I haven’t spoken to one of my best friends in over a year and a half. And I mean really spoken to him. We’ve exchanged a few lines in the last year, but then he stopped responding and…well, I don’t know.

Our relationship was all sorts of complicated, and at some points unhealthy from both ends, but I never thought it would end. I’ve never really understood how friendships could end. I’m a little bit in love with everyone that I know, I can’t just stop being friends with someone. There’s never a good reason for that. (Physical abuse aside)

A mutual friend has advised me to stop worrying about it. That friends don’t treat each other the way he’s treating me. But I can’t. He was/is/? one o my two best friends . I want to know that he’s doing okay. I want to know that his relationship with his girlfriend – possibly fiance at this point – is doing well, and that he has a good job that no longer requires him to sleep in his car. And yeah, a bit of me wants to tell him all about how my life is going. I suppose I could just continue sending him unread emails, but…that bit of me also wants to know that he still cares and hasn’t forgotten me. Friendship is never completely selfless, I suppose.

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