My mind is never a quiet place. If I’m not working on something, I’m worrying abut something. So it’s confusing and frustrating when I can’t write anything. I’ll sit wherever I’m at, and face down the piece of paper. I’ll stare at it, glare at it, hell, I’ll probably even rip it up and throw is away depending on the mood I’m in.
And it’s ridiculous.
I’m supposed to be writing about my life (something that you’d think I’d have a handle on at this point) not about global warming. I’ve gotten over – with the help of my vlogging- the idea that I shouldn’t write because nobody will read, but now I’m stuck on what’s acceptable for me to write. Part of the reason I have this website is to flesh out my web presence, which is important when trying to find a job in my particular area, but if I’m going to write, I’d like to write about something that doesn’t bore the shit out of me. But, you know, it also shouldn’t be something that will keep me from getting hired.
So, where is that line? I have no fucking clue, but I’ll let you know if and when I find it.
While I did recently take a bit of a break from VEDA do to real world priorities like homework, so far, I’ve really enjoyed the process. In fact, I’ve enjoyed it so much that I’ve joined the Vlogtastic Five and from now on, I’ll be doing two videos on Friday. You can find my regular daily videos here and my Vlogtastic Five videos here.
Doing the videos has been really fun, and I’ve found the upload and go style of updating to be very freeing. No worrying about scripting things out, or making sure that you’ve left enough time in-between sentences for a ‘proper jump cut’ (sentence I never thought I’d say…) or remembering to change the direction your chin is pointing every once in a while for extra emphasis… it’s a lot. It becomes a job. I’ll be doing my Vlogtastic Five posts like that because I think the group is going for that look and I’m happy too, but it will certainly require some extra time and effort.
I’ve also found that vlogging is helpful emotionally. There is a great community out there beyond just my friends and family who are incredibly supportive. I used to have the giant block that kept me from writing, and initially from posting vlogs that were what about what I was actually thinking because I feared that someone would judge me from what I type or say. I’ve gotten more relaxed about what I say in the videos, and it’s gotten easier for me to blog, which is an unexpected benefit that I really appreciate.
That’s all for now. I need to jump on the homework pile before it attacks me.