Tag Archives: sleep deprivation

Sick Day

I have nothing new to say. The words I’m about to type have been typed by me and many before me. They’re not new, and I hate typing them.

I am tired of being sick.

I am not just tired of being sick, though. I am tired of being tired. I’m tired of being depressed. I’m tired of people not understanding my situation. I’m tired of not being able to explain my situation. I’m tired of not having answers. I’m tired of being told to be patient for answers. I’m tired of not talking about being sick because I’m worried that I talk about it too much. I’m just really tired.

It’s not going to magically get better anytime soon. I’ve been getting comfortable with the idea that I’ll always be sick and that this is just a part of me now. There is no Doctor House for me. This will not be over in a period of time that an episode of TV can cover. And yet, I must keep up hope, that there is some magical cure out there for me. I must at once accept my status quo and reject it. I must not talk about what I’m facing, because it’s big and dark and scary and sometimes really gross. But at the same time, I must be courageous and fight this battle and speak my mind.

I am tired.

I’m tired of this being such a big part of me.

New Years Resolution Continued

As some of you may know, my New Year’s resolution was to start drinking as much water as I do soda. 

Well, the resolution has been successful so far. I average about a gallon of water today. Some days I have a can of soda, some days I have two, some days I don’t have any at all. What really gets me are the bags of BBQ potato chips at the end of the hall. Those suckers are fucking addicting. Odd side note, I still think of them as the KC Masterpiece BBQ chips, even though that tie was cut on the bag a while back. Talk about effective branding. 

The resolution has actually progressed further than just drinking water every day. I’ve started working out with Karibabyhorse every day and seeing a personal trainer twice a week. Before you start thinking “Well isn’t that nice for you, I don’t have that kind of money,” I don’t actually have that kind of money either. Access to my school’s gym is $70 a semester or $125 for a year. That’s a little bit more than $20 a month, which I used to spend on chocolate milk (Yes, I’m a recovering addict). That’s a night at the bar for some folks, or just ordering out. It’s a well worth it investment. With access to the gym comes access to the personal trainer. It’s a really great deal. 

My coworkers laughed at me (not in a mean way) last week while I hobbled around for the two days after my first appointment, but I’m already starting to feel the benefits form the intense workouts. Mostly in my arms and legs, and not my tummy where I would like it, but it’s a work in progress and not something that will happen over night. The oddest place that I’ve notice slimming down is my wrists…they look very dainty now. 

I haven’t stepped on a scale since the very beginning of January, and I don’t plan to any time soon. Knowing the number won’t help me any. I already have plenty of motivation (my trainer is adorable and sings random songs – last week it was Mariah Carey, today it was Ellie Goulding) and all of this isn’t because I want to attain a certain number on the scale. I want to feel better. And yeah, I do want to look a certain way, but I don’t know what the number associated with that look is, so why worry?

More later. Time to dive back into work. 

The Weekenders

In case you didn’t know (and most likely you wouldn’t) I’ve spent 32 of the last 48 hours in the  Northwest Publication’s Newsroom.

Sounds like fun, huh? It is, actually. I’m the Editor of the Yearbook DVD – fun fact, the Northwest Tower was the first Yearbook ever supply a cassette tape and then DVD for extra media with their paper pub – so a significant portion of my time is spent down here. When I’m not editing I’m getting my homework done, or trying to catch a nap in the back room.

Here are the mugs of a couple of the splendid ladies that I work with.

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Kelsey, Jade, Tassi and KariBabyHorse. They’re awful pretty, don’t you think?